Thousands of local catholic church goers in the town of Castlebar were left devastated to learn earlier this week that a satanic “Heavy Metal” tribute band that goes by the name of “Hells Bells” will be performing at the Garbos venue in Castlebar tonight Saturday June 4th. We spoke with a local councillor in the “normally” quiet county town in Mayo who wishes to remain unnamed, the councillor added…

“Castlebar was a quiet  town up until recently, full of happy families, we are so afraid what this type of music and band will do to the reputation of our Taoiseach Enda Kenny’s home-town”

The event organised  by a local promoter in the area named Finbar Hoban who is linked to be involved  in satanic witch craft meetings in the Castlebar lake district area known as Lough Lannagh on the last Friday of every month  for over a number of years now.

The local begrudgary  brigade will be holding an emergency  meeting to tackle the situation at the family parish Centre on Chapel street in Castlebar  this afternoon from 15:00pm where it is said that the  group are set to march on up to the Garbo’s Venue in Castlebar tonight from 21:00pm when the satanic “Heavy Metal” band are said to take to the stage to perform a full 2 hour show!

One local publican commented “Sure no wonder why everyone is gettin the aul buses over to Westport! And now we have a bleedin “Heavy Metal” band coming to the town, The locals are afraid of there lifes!!” What kind of feckin entertainment is that!

The Castlebar councillor went on to say that normally our sons and daughters would go out and have a nice innocent  time in the town and spend the night listening to Nathan Carter’s cover version of the popular song “Wagon Wheel” on repeat in Cox’s Bar on linenhall street situated across the road  from the Taoiseach Enda Kenny’s constituency office now  known to some of the hipsters in the area as the “Temple Bar” of Castlebar.


Locals are now living in fear  and ultimate meltdown and a curfew has being put in place   in the area about the news of a “Heavy Metal” performing in such a nice friendly town,

Reporters of this story wish to acknowledge that the Taoiseach Enda Kenny was  unavailable for comment last night when they visited his home.

Hoban himself who is believed to have a history of psychotic tendencies  has disappeared  and  has not being seen since the news broke earlier this week

The band are set to take to the stage tonight at Garbos between 22:00 and 22:30 Tickets will be available on the door with doors at the venue opening at 21:00pm, Gardai in the area are believed to be monitoring the situation as it unfolds.



Photo of Hells Bells

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